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So I have been in and out of SL all year long, which is an interesting experience, when I got used to the idea of being logged in most of the day. School has been keeping me busy and it is hard to find a large period of time that I can relax, take pictures (and edit them), shop and hang out with friends. But in a way, I want school to take up my time, but not just homework, but time spent with friends in the real world. When I started playing SL I had only a few friends to rely on. As I changed schools, I began to have a whole bunch of people that I could hang out with and that would be my socializing. What is even more signicate, when I first joined, I was completely shattered. I didn’t know who I was because a part of me disappeared, which lead to my collapse. Something happened one day last semester. I found out that i am going to be on student senate next year, something just clicked then. Suddenly I realized that I feel like more myself, then I have ever had. Suddenly the bad memories were pushed into the far back of my memory bank. Sure I still remember them, but I know they cannot hurt me and that I am someone who is incredibly fabulous. Also over the course of the semester, I had a crush and it was a big deal because I actually told him that I liked him! Back to the day that i find out out I’m on Senate. During the day, I suddenly realize that perhaps I’m almost done with SL. The purpose of finding who i was and becoming able to deal with interacting with people was achieved and the only thing that I see SL as something that keeps me behind the computer, when i should be out with people in my RL. I know that people have found love in SL, but the idea of not being able to be with them for long periods of time isn’t realistic, and I want my love to be physically present. My RL is becoming more important, there are people outside of the SL and I want to meet them and have fun with them. This isn’t to say that I haven’t found amazing friends in SL and don’t want to keep in contact with them, just avatars are getting boring and hiding behind breeding digital bunnies isn’t going to improve my social life. SL holds a special place in my heart because this month Adia turned 3. I have been in SL for three years and I feel it is time to leave at a certain point. I gave myself Adia’s 4 rez date, May 3rd, 2011 to log out for a period of time. At that time I will be finishing up with my undergraduate work and hopefully will be heading to grad school in the fall. Second Life has been a large component to my undergraduate career and perhaps it is time to say farewell.



I don’t update this blog very much and I’m sorry. Anyway. I am back in school, this time at a different 4-year college rather than a 2-year. Also different is that I’m taking a butt load of classes so I know I won’t be on SL very much, also meaning my sporadic blogging will go to nonexistent. Personally I don’t think I’m cut out for blogging so yeah. Anyway I MIGHT try, maybe not too hard, to blog just so that way my one reader will know what I’m doing.

Adia and Balt

FYI: I’m two meds for one mental problem, one regularly for two problems, and one as needed, like once I start throwing things or seriously thinking about hurting myself. I also feel fine during the day and then night comes and I get all moody. Wow I think i got of that funk, hua-za. Fell back into the funk.

I am attracted to really hot guys, what makes me depressed is the fact I will never date him. At least not with the way I look. Those guys are not interested in me. Well, I’m overweight, hairy, and oddly arranged. According to my sociology book, people marry people that are at similarly attractive. I don’t want to marry another overweight, hairy, and oddly arranged person. I really don’t. I want to look at the other person, not just close my eyes and pretend. I want Prince Charming. Good looking, caring, sweet, among the other dating cliches. And I don’t want to see my face in the other person. I want to see someone that isn’t like me

Also here is another problem, I’m at the beginning of wanting to date. I have been on two dates without realizing they were dates. I have to be 13 again. I have never during all of high school want to date someone and up ’til September really had a crush that was sexual and once it started to wane I suddenly realized that I’m fucking lonely in the romantic sense. I don’t do much except stay home, play on the computer, and sleep. I’m an only child and for a long time I have had to play on my own, so it is easy to stay in every weekend or really need the comfort of friends outside of the school environment. So suddenly I am thrown out of that way of thinking without any tools to help myself. By this time in a normal person’s development they are growing out of the thinking of just looking for attractive people, having since throws of puberty at around 10-13, to 18-24 to starting to mature out of that thinking. And I’m just starting. I have always been the late bloomer and it really drives me up walls. I have to deal with ten years of maturing, and then establishing my career, but that I expected, while people around me are going to start getting married and have a family.

And what is wrong about having a hot first boyfriend, it is not like I’m going to end up forever with them. I want to be vain for once. It is practically a gay rule! I defy a lot of gay rules! I’m not attractive, a clubber, sexually active, concerned about my appearance, wanting to buy luxury goods, although luxury sometimes looks good. Everyone keeps telling me that they are all jerks and boring. There are always exceptions. I wish I could just dissect personalities based on 1 minute of watching them, so I could find the sweet and interesting one that wouldn’t mind to date Uncle Fester.

Yes, I magically want to be fit and toned, who doesn’t, but my appearance is low of my list of priories.

1) School – I have a career goal that demands me in the classroom for at least 6-8+ years.
2) Computer/SL
3) Sleep.
4) Me Time

7). Social Life

20) Getting healthy

Working out is dull, hard and painful, where I would rather be interested, stressed and flying through work. Schoolwork is easy for me. It is something that I enjoy. Sure I get stressed, but honestly I feel better stressed. No pain, no game? I don’t feel rewarded as getting an A on work, by working out. I feel nothing. Funny thing you would think I love flattery, I can’t stand being told that transfering into a top-notch school was hard, because I always put myself down as the charity case. I will always deny the fact of my achievements, and when I don’t achieve I put down myself for that. Yes, sometimes I’m proud of myself for achieving things, but there is always my insecurities lurking around the corner. Yes, I have to be the best, because without being #1, in our society, whether you hate or not, #1 gets all the love. No, my parents didn’t force me to be competitive. I forced myself. My best is #1, but there is someone standing in the way. People will then come to the conclusion that in fact my best isn’t #1 but #2, #3, or #1,000,000. There is no love in our society for #2. Yes, my parents loved me. But do I love me? Sometimes. I like my personality, but there are so many areas that need vast improvement. I need better timing in regards of telling jokes, not just being snarky or sarcastic. I need to be an A 90.00+% personality rather than a B+ 89.5%. There are so many areas that need to be changed in order for me to be cocky about myself. I want to show myself off. People love self-assured people and frankly I’m not, so I’m not being loved to the fullest extent. I want to be loved by everyone. Yes, realistically that won’t happen, but I want to be loved by almost all people that I come into contact with. There are only few and I want to be in that group so bad. I hate being outside. That is what I have been all my life. Outside of the social groups even though I can somewhat put myself into, but still I DON’T FIT. I HAVE NEVER FIT IN ANYWHERE!!! WHY CAN’T THERE BE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE LIKE ME AND WHY CAN’T I FUCKING FIND THEM BY 21?! AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE UNATTRACTIVE TO ME?! No, I don’t want the whole world to me just be me. Life is a journey and answers will be relieved as you come up to them, but if feels as if others at 21 are way ahead of me in figuring out life. I had to go through 5 years of just trying to maintain mental stability and just as I thought I was stable this whole thing has to explode on me, so therefore it is again putting off dating because I really don’t want to put others through my personal hell, but part of me wants someone that I can lean on making this a catch-22 which drives me up taller walls.

Hey have a safe holiday. I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging. Plurk is very much to blame and the fact that I have few things to write on. I’m going to try to blog at least once a week, writing on almost anything SL or RL. I have some ideas so I feel ready to expound on those soon. Anyway, stay safe, and have a happy July 4th even if you don’t celebrate the holiday. 🙂

Balt and Adia

Balt’s answers to Stein Shilova’s Literary Meme:

1) What author do you own the most books by?


2) What book do you own the most copies of?

Atlas Shrugged

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

why should it?

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Jasper from the Thursday Next Series

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?

Atlas Shrugged, took me three attempts to get all the way through. I don’t typically reread books

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?

i don’t remember if i had a favorite

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
The Summoner by Gail Z. Martin

8) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?

hmmm I would say Atlas Shrugged, although the philosophy behind the book is totally wrong.

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?

Shame By Salman Rushdie

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?

Haruki Murakami, twisted turn on life

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

Thursday Next series

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

Um I don’t really like book movies

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

If it ever happened I don’t remember

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

Twilight *hisses*

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

Against the Day by Thomas Pynchon

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

12th Night

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?


18) Roth or Updike?

never read

19) Hemingway or Faulkner?


20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?


21) Austen or Eliot?


22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?


23) What is your favorite novel?

That always is a tough answer. hmmmm Anything by Jasper Fforde

24) Play? From what century or major literary era?

A Streetcar Named Desire 1950s

25) Poem?

Emily Dickenson’s one about Death coming to collect the speaker

26) Essay?

Emile Durkheim’s The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life

27) Short story?

The Next Thing by Steven Millhauser in Harper’s May 08 issue

28) Work of non-fiction?

Global Pentecostalism by Donald E. Miller and Tetsunao Yamamori

29) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

Dean Koontz (yeah, I cheated and used Ryker’s answer. But she’s right.)

31) What is your desert island book?


32) And … what are you reading right now?

Hubert’s Freaks by Gregory Gibson
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Elementry Forms of the Religious Life by Emile Durkheim
The Anthropology of Religion by Fiona Bowie (More of a textbook but still it is a good read.)

Plurk has eaten my soul and I find it easier to work within a 140-character count, especially with keeping up with friends. Anyway I checked out New World Notes and they had a good link to a New York Times article on art in SL(tm) and RL. (Adia will be coming up with her opinion of Paper Couture’s Spring 2009).

Art in SL(tm) is fun. It presents a different perspective on what is art and how we experience it.

There are the 2D pictures that dominate Flickr and many art galleries around SL. Somehow I feel like this experience isn’t unique to SL. Yes the pictures are shot using SL, which can bring unique features to the pictures, that you couldn’t shoot in RL. But after awhile its kinda boring. You see a lot of the same themes running through the photos and it gets kind of cliche after awhile. However this doesn’t mean they are not works of art and they are low of quality, but somehow it isn’t the same as experiencing the artwork. Second Life(tm) is all about experience rather than just observing. Even in SL(tm) you can just observe the world around you. Just kinda look at things. But what is the fun in that. Where else can you walk through a painting that was created almost 150+ years ago and feel apart of what the artist was envisioning. SL is about doing things, whether that be dancing in the various nightclubs or building the house you want to live in.

I respond well to artwork that I can experience. I love wandering around AM Radio’s builds because they are so surreal, but somehow I feel more connected to the piece. I wander through these places that have this surreal bent to them, but they aren’t dark and in someways disturbing of Dali and Manray.

Chouchou is another one of those places where I feel so utterly connected to the art and the emotions that take over me is something I love to experience. While I try to capture the solitude and peace of Chouchou through my pictures, I feel like I come up short. It is a 2D image with some emotion, but there isn’t the essence. I guess it has a lot to do with the music that is being played, which is always relaxing.

Arahan Claveau will always be an artist on the grid that I know I will find an interesting exhibit/installation. His pieces always have a very shocking quality to them. While some people enjoy that kind of art, I don’t think I have ever been 100% comfortable with that. I know that art is about the response from the viewer, but I tend to prefer images that are happy or at most twisted/happy gothic, i.e. Tim Burton. But that is what Arahan is all about. He wants to evoke these feelings whether they are good or bad and not censoring it. Whatever the feeling, however, his builds are always good and I enjoy them. I haven’t been to see his more recent works, because I took a break for the art world, except AM Radio’s builds. The piece he has up in his gallery looks really interesting and I might go take a look.

Kinda piggybacking on Arahan, comes my issue with art. Art gets lost in translation. The artist’s intent of the piece is lost when it is just a series of seemly random things put together and you don’t know all the personal meaning behind the piece. And then there would be the Dadaist, who just put things together randomly and challenge the notion of what is art.

Actually writing this piece has made me want to build an installation, just for the heck of it. I would love to do something focused around religion because that is what I want to study. In someway I’m scared about offending people with my piece that I have in mind. As an anthropologist I have to be very careful about not offending people, especially those whom I want to study. But I guess I’m not designing this project as an anthropologist, but as an artist that has preconceptions about a certain religion and who wants to confront those and actually understand where they are coming from.

Anyway this is going way too long. Hopefully I will remember to post Adia’s opinion this week.

Balt and Adia

I have sold my soul to Plurk. I love plurk. Any post over 140 characters is too long. lol So after a nice break from blogging I’m back. So the whole art gallery thing didn’t work out. It would have taken a bunch of my time and I didn’t want to run another business, we all know how that goes. Anyway Adia has been demanding some air time for fashion so she is going start with this post!

Fashion (Insert Witty Noun) #1 LeLutka Spring 09 Collection

Let’s face it either you love the brand or you can’t stand the brand. Personally I love it. And with this collection I LOVE LeLutka. So lets break down the collection shall we.

Color Pallet: Soft and feminine. Pinks, sages, pale blues, and greens dominate the collection, very spring, very crisp. Personally I like strong colors so I wasn’t feeling the colors too much so my choices where the dark blues, olives, browns, and blacks.

Silhouettes: This season Minnu and Thora went with soft draping instead of the geometric trends of RL Spring 09. The sculpting on each piece was impeccable, although I had an issue with fit, even though I’m on the thin side of the av. Notable pieces are the Olimpia pants, Satine pants, Simone dress, Olympia sweater and the Shiri top

Fabrics: Breathable fabrics were key, cotton, chiffon, etc. Only the formal pieces was where the fabric was heavy.

Issues: Fit!!!!!!! It bugs me to no end when my smallish avatar has to enlarge stuff because it is too small! I think they should have put a resize script in the clothes so that way it is easy to do also. Grr. lol
My other beef with this collection was a lot of basics, t-shirts, tanks, jeans, sweater dresses, etc. I don’t shop at LeLutka for basics or mall clothes. I want COUTURE, like Alexander McQueen & company!!! I really liked their first collection because it was unique, out there, mind you not as good quality, but none the less different. I don’t mind paying more for an outrageous outfit. While the silhouettes weren’t, say, average, they weren’t exactly different and out of the box. In fact now that I think about it, the Dea shirt was in The Sims: Open for Business. Now I understand that designers do borrow looks from each other, but still it wasn’t innovative and that is what I’m looking for.
I have saved the biggest issue for last. FUG! There is an hyper busy floral print dress that I swear looks like something my grandmother would have worn. GAG! I will post a picture of it when I go home, but man it is UGLY! While in the same fabric there is a dress in a different cut that looks young and fresh.

Edit: Pictures are here!

Got to go! Bye
Balt and Adia

So if you haven’t heard OnRez is closing its doors because it is being bought out by Second Life and Xstreet is going to be meshed with the viewer. I use OnRez and their oh-so-nice vendors for my business. While I could switch to Xstreet, I don’t want to. Also since the business is oh-so-successful I don’t want to keep flushing money down the toilet. So it is closing. Meaning that all my lamps are going on sale for $100. It is fun building the lamps and I might still build them just for fun. Links to the shop are below. It ends when OnRez closes, on the 11th

Now, I want to say on happy note that I’m going to open an art gallery on the sims! It is going to be a small time affair with no really big plans. I’m going to be renting out a loft in the Holy Dove apartment building. I want to have small shows with like meet the artist, parties, and stuff like that. I have no clue what to call it, but I’m writing the rundown tonight, after hw of course. It should be a fun project to run. Anyway got to go tutor!

I’m back, for reals this time. I ran into some issues regarding the classes that I need to be taking and I needed to focus on that before posting.

So anyway my Holidays were decent. My break wasn’t memorable and finally I’m back in school! With that said chances I won’t be on SL as regular as I have been. However school hasn’t stopped Adia from being the vain diva that she is and she wanted to do some fashion pictures with her hot new hair and skin. One image does a some nipple action going on, but it is really small and turned to the side, so it isn’t exactly NSFW, so it is up to you if you want to view that image. BTW Lofty Lighting is closing since OnRez is closing. I’m going to have a blow out sale so look for that! 🙂